they dont n wont listen..n that really brought me to tears.seriously.part2.

.. bagi sesetengah orang yg pernah terdetik di benak ati mereka , " yazid , kenapa ko x nk smbg degree trus , x buang masa k ? " .. ataw .. " kenapa ko x g matrix or x amek offer yg ko dpt dulu , instead of diploma microbiology ? " ... so guys , ini jwpn aku . aku TIDAK BERMINAT utk belajar bnder yg aku x nk belajar . aku TIDAK MAHU buat bnder yg aku x nk buat . aku TIDAK MAHU jd seorang DOKTOR , CHEMICAL ENGINEER , PILOT , n aper2 yg bersangkut paut dgn science field . bkn kerana aku mmbenci bidang ini , tp ini bknlah bidang yg aku rs aku nk jdkn sbg kerjaya aku d maser akan dtg. WHETHER U LIKE IT OR NOT , I'M DYING 2 B A FASHION DESIGNER . TAKE IT OR LEAVE IT .

dress versace..chantekknyer..

mmg bidang nie terlalu bnyk competitors nyer . locally n globally . yer la , aper la sgt local designer kalu nk dibandingkan ngan Donatella Versace , Armani Exchange , Vera Wang , Prada , Louis Vuitton , Givenchy , Yves Saint Lauren , etc .. mampus aku nk sebut sumer yg ader .. pendek kata mmg ssh nk berjaya kalau setakat angan2 kosong . nk bersaing ngan Melinda Looi n Farah Khan pn blum tentu bley . but i'm no quitter . aku x kn mengalah selagi aku x dpt menjejakkan kaki dlm arena nie . aku x kn cpt patah smgt even if my parent cant see what i can see . mmg bnder nie x bley cari mkn , bg org2 yg malas berusaha . i believe in my potential , dan ini bkn sekadar angan2 kosong . ini impian yg menanti utk direalisasikan . cuma masa yg mnjadi penentu . cpt ataw lmbt .

.. selama nie , mmg aku nie ibarat robot yg tlh diprogramkan hanya utk merakam digit2 dan fakta2 yg ntah aperkebendernyer aku sendiri pn x tahu . tp robot ini jg punya hati dan impian . n aku rasa dh sampai masanya utk aku speak up .. mak ayah aku ckup baek , x pernah ada slh silap dlm mendidik aku . cuma mungkin mereka tidak yakin dgn kebolehan anak mereka . n mereka takut kalau2 satu hari nnti , selepas aku bergelar Fashion Design graduate , prospek kerjanya sgt terhad . takut2 aku menganggur , x mampu berdiri sendiri . n mungkin , mereka x mahu aku mengalami kepayahan sepertimana yg pernah mereka alami dulu ..

.. tp aku percaya , kalau kita bekerja keras , dgn sepenuh hati , the victory is ours .. here 's one of inspiring story of a successful shoemaker ..

" Dato' Jimmy Choo OBE , born Jimmy Choo Yeang Keat , is a London-based luxury fashion designer best known for his exquisite hand-made women's shoes . Choo is a Malaysian of Hakka Chinese descent who was born in Penang in 1961 into a family of shoemakers . He made his first shoe when he was 11 years old , but managed only to complete six years of formal education at Shih Chung Primary School in Penang . He is perhaps the most famous of alumni of Cordwainers' Technical College in London , from which he graduated in 1983 . The college is now part of the London College of Fashion . Choo has divulged that he worked part-time at restaurants and as a cleaner at a shoe factory to help fund his college education .
Choo's humble beginnings can be traced back to his workshop in Hackney , East London , which he opened in 1986 by renting an old hospital building . His craftsmanship and designs soon became noticed and he came to the verge of international fame when his creations were featured in a record eight pages in a 1988 issue of Vogue magazine . Patronage from Diana, Princess of Wales from 1990 onwards further boosted his image . "

why can't i follow his footsteps ?? .. he worked 379% hard for his dream , so do i .. i'm willing 2 go through challenges if dat's the cost .. i want 2 b like him , even bttr . heheh . hopefully ..

.. ssh utk semua org fhm minat seseorang dan pilihan yg kiter wut .. bg aku , dlm hidup ini , kiter patut wut bnder yg kiter minat , bknnyer bnder yg org suruh kiter wut .. aku realize bnder nie masa aku tgh bkrjer di SIRIM nie .. aku x happy dgn kjer2 yg aku wut .. walaupun aku dh blaja course microbiology slama 3 thn n aku ingt aku bley hidup dgn pilihan ini , .. aku ingt , cm bley maen redah j .. study .. exam .. practical .. n kjer .. ternyata ianya silap sama skali .. skrg , aku cuma menghitung hari2 terakhir di lab aku bkrjer .. kerna dh terlalu bosan mmbuat task2s yg aku x minat .. walaupun contract aku abes thn dpn .... aku x nk , bler aku dh berumur 64 thn nnti , aku menyesal kerna aku x pernah proceed bnder yg aku nk wut sgt .. n pd masa 2 , ianya dh trlmbt ...

...sejak kecil lg , aku impikan utk ader international label aku sendiri .. when i was 5 , aku ader hall of fame kt dinding rumah aku , dress n gown sketches all over the wall .. (lpas 2 kner marah ler sbb menconteng dinding) .. wak2 umow aku 6 thn , aku curi barbie doll sepupu aku (jht gler) , n jahit satu office suit .. kaler ijau .. kainnyer aku sop dr bilik menjahit mak aku .. sbb mak aku tukang jahit langsir pd ketika itu .. so stok kaen mmg berlambak gler .. n then , dgn menggunakan tisu muka , aku berjaya menghasilkan wedding gown utk barbie doll 2 .. heheh .. cantik sgt gown 2 .. tp syg , bler kner air , abes renyuk gown 2 .. togel patung sepupu aku jdnyer ..

.. in my mind rite now , i've been thinking of this label .. "ZEED JAMEEL" .. x sabar rsnyer nk lihat pakaian yg ader tag 2 .. n lihat model pakai creations aku n walk the walk on the runway .. di paris , milan , n around the world .. tingginye impian aku .. setinggi langit .. ssh utk dicapai , tp x mustahil utk dilaksanakan kn ?

fashion is my dream , my passion , my girlfriend , my companion , n my life . no one can take it away from me . n now i'm about 2 start it . my steps will b shaky but that wont stop me . i'm seriously going 4 it n i mean it . this is not a joke . so guys , just wait 4 my designs 4 public view soon !!! so excited !!! xoxo

they dont n wont listen..n that really brought me to tears.seriously.part1.

.. baru2 nie , aku memberanikan diri buat pertama kalinya dlm hidup aku . confront dgn ayah aku , about things i wanna do . for life .

aku : ayah , kalau ajid cakap nie , ayah jangan marah lk ye .

ayah : psl apa nie ?

aku : kalau ajid nk tukar course , bley x ?

ayah : ajid nk tukar course apa ? x rasa menyesal k , dh half way buat course lain , suddenly tukar lk .

aku : ntah la ayah .. walaupun ajid dh kjer dlm field yg ajid blaja , tp ajid x gembira dgn aper yg ajd wut .. rs dh giv up ..

ayah : abis 2 , ajid nk sambung dgree apa ? (in deep thought) ... nk amek fashion design ? X BLEY CARI MAKAN , jid .. nk kumpul modal lg , nk establishkn label lg ..

aku : (diam tanpa sebarang ekspresi) ..

ayah : (dlm nada mendesak) .. nk amek dentistry ? brapa thn baru complete ? 4 tahun kn ? yg 2 ayah prefer skit . more secured . bila dh abes study , dh ader kjer . bley bukak klinik sendiri aftr couple years .. bla bla bla ..............

on that time , aku mmg dh x fokus dgn aper yg ayah aku bebelkan .. fikiran aku dh jauh melayang .. tanpa aku sedari , aku dh sampai kt blok flat aku .. mlm 2 , aku x dpt melelapkan mata .. air mata dh meleleh . sket . (lbey2 tarak rr,woman sgt)

... sejak dr zmn sekolah rendah lg , aku berusaha keras utk prove kt diorg yg aku minat gler dlm bidang art .. tp diorg x pernah nk peduli .. aku ingt lg , maser aku darjah 4 , aku masuk pertandingan melukis poster anti dadah peringkat daerah .. dh la maser ari pertandingan 2 , team skola kitorg smpai lmbt . trsesat jln . so aku n ader sorg lg wakil skola aku gk start lukis n kaler lmbt dr participants laen .. smpaikan bila dh time's up pun , aku still x abes warnakan background poster aku lg . but da best thing was , aku dpt third place , out of daerah batang padang , perak 2 .. bangga 2 . tp bila blik rumh , neither my ayah nor my emak congratulated me . n i really wished they would say "tahniah,ajid." .. at least .

.. all that they wanted me 2 do is to study , study , n study .. maser aku form 4 , dlm pertengahan thn la , aku dpt offer dr satu skola berasrama penuh nie .. mak ayah aku mmg dh suruh masuk la ,parent maner yg x overjoyed bler anak diorg dpt masuk sbp .. tp aku x nk . aku dh plan ngan satu cikgu nie , cikgu sharifah namanyer . satu2nyer insan yg memahami passion aku . dier cikgu pendidikan seni aku n dier mmg taw aku minat gler melukis .. n dier mmg suruh aku amek paper pendidikan seni for SPM .. n yet , i didnt do that . my parent pushed me 2 go for that boarding school . n i went 2 da school . da school was great but .. worst come to worst , school 2 x offer paper arts .. science stream katerkn ...

lpas result spm kuar , aku pn disuruh la apply course itu la , ini la .. medic , chemical engineering , even g intrview for malaysia airlines nyer pilot cadet pn aku di push utk g gk . mmg la result peksa aku ok gk , tp adakah aku x berhak decide aper yg aku nk wut utk future aku ?? (to b continued) ....

it was my birthday n i'm painting my own living room

practice mengecat katanyer..tp cm x celup dlm cat nyer j?

29 september 07 .. my 21st birthday . the ultimate ring of freedom , i can say . dh tuenyer aku .. haha . usually people celebrate their birthday with cakes n fancy parties , but this time around , i didnt . instead , my cake was a pail of paint and the candles were paintbrushes , but with no flame at all . heheh . get my point ?

actually , living room rumh sewa kitorg nie lahanat lah jgk rupenyer .. dgn lubang sana sini , dindingnyer yg berdaki , n with all kinds of very uncreative way of graffiti n murals (hasil contengan housemates aku gk , hampes ..) ..dh dkt setahun sejak kitorg pindah masuk rumh nie , tp baru arinie kitorg memberikannyer nafas baru . bknnyer malas mahupun busy , tp ntahlah .. x der peluang kut (aper bezanyer??) ..

me n ewan..tgh mendengar rintihan ati dinding yg x sabaw2 nk di-touch up..

ianya bermula dr petang sabtu 29 september itulah , di saat mata ini dh x thn melihat dinding hall yg seolah2 menjerit2 untuk dimekapkan .. so aper lg,dgn spontaneousnyer , aku terus membuat statement kpd housemate ku yg sorg nie , ewan . "jom cat rumh , wan . mata nie dh azab sgt." .. without no hesitations , kitorg terus k kedai hardware , beli satu tong cat KCC katanyer .. nk pilih kaler pun ssh yer .. dr kaler soft pink , hingga k azure green , dkt stgh jam kitorg decide . at last , pilih kaler no. 616 "Ode To Joy" . warna kuning kehijauan gitew .

kaler no. 616 : " Ode To Joy "

proses mengecat hall nyer pn memakan masa 2 ari .. actually , dlm masa sehari pn bley siap , tp disebabkan bnyk sgt karenah birokrasi nyer , maka terpaksa la di extand smpai 2 ari .. heh . lgpn , aku ngan ewan jer yg mengecat hall nie . walaupun hakikatnyer , rumh nie ada 4 org penghuninyer . lg 2 org hampagas 2 , yakni fendi n abg zul , ader j alasannyer utk x mau turun membanting tulang . sentapnyer . tp bler dh abes mengecat , n hall pn dh jd berseri2 , diorg la yg overexaggerated nyer .. x tahan !!

tenyeh brush 2..lg..dan lg..